Proactively Seeking Mentorship & The Power of Boundaries

I had the pleasure of joining Joi Louviere on her Werk Stories podcast “Success, Surrendering and Switching Careers” in March. During the session, I shared insights gained from pursuing a career transition to be more aligned with my passions as well as the importance of mentorship for first generation professionals in corporate environments and how men of color can better support women of color.

The conversation was enlightening (and fun!) and forced me to take the time to reflect on key lessons learned throughout my personal and professional journey over the last few years. It is my hope that this article helps you step out of a conditioned way of thinking, take some intentional time to pause and reflect, and encourages you to take the leap of faith you’ve been thinking about taking.

Below I expand on some topics discussed in the session and introduce some things we couldn’t get to!

1. Proactively Seek Mentorship and Build Relationships

In the podcast, I talk about mentorship as a way to support first generation professionals. As important as it is to have structures in place within organizations for mentorship, it is equally as important to be proactive to seek out guidance and learn from others who have more or different experiences than you do. Mentors help you broaden your perspective and highlight things you may be missing, act as a sounding board and teach you some of the ins and outs of the corporate world. Connecting with people takes effort, intention, and authenticity. Be yourself, be courageous enough to know you deserve professional growth, and take the initiative to find mentors that will help you in your career. You would be pleasantly surprised as to how people are willing to help if they see potential in you and you are putting effort into helping yourself.

Action

Reach out to 2 - 3 colleagues, leaders, or experienced professionals within your department or across the organization and ask to set up an intro call with them. Be clear on what the intention is for your time together, and even prepare some questions or topics to discuss with them (i.e., learning about their career path, share some of your goals and areas you’d like to develop). Once you’ve met with them, reflect on how you feel and whether this is a relationship you’d like to continue to grow.

2. Challenge The Norm Of The Hustle Culture By Setting Boundaries

The hustle culture can be defined as always being “on” or “on the go”, working long hours through the evening and over the weekend, overworking yourself with limited time to disconnect, “doing it all” and essentially grinding away to meet your professional goals. This constant need to be “on” and productive at all times leads to burnout and prevents you from being fully present and connecting with others in a meaningful way.

The hustle mentality and habit can become toxic very quickly – not just for those exhibiting these behaviors, but for everyone around them. We may not realize how our actions and behaviors are setting examples for others – whether it’s our teammates, business partners from across the organization or the clients we serve. Once this becomes the norm, it can be problematic for several reasons. The pressure others may feel to follow those behaviors because of the fear that they may be perceived as someone who is not as hardworking or dedicated and the unhealthy competition that’s created where some feel the need to outwork others. The effects of linking your sense of worth and esteem to the amount of work that you’re able to get through sends the wrong message. The key is to be effective and productive, and it’s challenging to be that version of you when you’re working yourself to the point of burnout.

Actions:

Model Healthy Behaviors. Modeling the behaviors you would like to see will help them become the norm over time. To be consistent and reliable doesn’t mean you need to be responsive at all times. Disconnecting from work-related things takes intention, boundaries and self-respect. I encourage you to model healthy behaviors and set an example for the change you would like to see. Also, refrain from rewarding or praising unhealthy behaviors. We tend to give badges of honor to those who seemingly can “do it all”. Spreading yourself too thin and overworking yourself isn’t sustainable for the long run. It’s quite the opposite - knowing when to pause is a superpower.

Set Boundaries! Establishing boundaries is a key element of well-being. Knowing what your limitations are and setting boundaries so that you don’t burn yourself out shows self-awareness, self-respect, and healthy habits. It is equally as important to create spaces and environments where we can say no and trust there won’t be negative repercussions for speaking up.

Boundaries can simply look like:

1. Limiting work related communications during evening hours and weekends

2. Blocking time on your calendar during the workday to focus on work when you are the most productive

3. Saying no to projects you are unable to take on due to a full workload

4. Declining meetings that are not necessary for you to attend

5. If you prefer being planned and organized rather than spontaneous and flexing, offer to put together a project plan and summarize next steps with dates, times etc. after meetings

6. Limiting work conversations to topics you are comfortable with (nothing offensive or too personal)

7. If you find yourself being energized by spending time alone (introverts!), a boundary can be (politely) declining invitations for get togethers, parties etc.

8. Communicate how you best like to work and how you learn best. Do you take time to process, need structure in the workday, work best on a project in small doses etc. Determine it first, then communicate to your team!

9. Taking PTO just because – you do not need to travel to take time off!

10. Closing the laptop and intentionally disconnecting from work in the evening

Having the support of mentors, people that have paved successful paths for themselves, willing to teach you and share advice will reap rewards for long term success. Also, knowing what your limitations are and respecting yourself enough to set boundaries will set positive examples for others and positively impact your well-being. You are the architect of your career – no other person is responsible for your development or growth or will care more about your career than you do.

Set your intention to proactively go after what it is you want and be brave enough to say no when your intuition is telling you to!